


I won't give up on you

by TalkshowsOnMute (Drearytale)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Gen, How friendship can turn into something else, I guess some crying... well. maybe a lot of. And I'm not even sorry!, M/M, Nightmares, hurt!louis, protective!liam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-08
Updated: 2014-04-13
Packaged: 2017-12-28 21:08:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/996724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drearytale/pseuds/TalkshowsOnMute
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Liam received a call from a desperate Louis, he knew that something was wrong and he had something to do about it. But he hadn’t imagined that it would be so hard to get the Louis he knew back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Liam groaned frustrated as the ringing of his phone woke him up from his sleep. Was it really time to get up already? It felt like his head had touched the pillow barely two minutes ago.

It took a while for him to recognize, that what woke him wasn’t his alarm, it was an incoming call. And since it was really dark in his room, it could impossibly be morning. It was July after all, getting up while it still was dark outside was close to bodily injury.

He blindly reached for his phone, not even bothering to look who was calling him this early. When it was just one of his idiotic friends that sat on their phone or something like that, he would murder this person. Tomorrow. When he had slept a little more.

“’lo?” he croaked groggily.

“Liam…” The voice on the other end sounded weak, but it was definitively a voice he knew.

“Louis?” Liam frowned and sat up in his bed. When there was no answer, he looked at his phone to check if the call was already ended, but they were still fully connected. “Louis? Can you hear me?”

“I… Liam, please!”

“Please what?” All of a sudden Liam was much more awake than he was a minute before. “Louis? Are you okay?”

“C-come get me, Li. Please.”

“Okay. Sure.” Liam climbed out of the bed without letting go of the phone and started to get into some clothes. “You need to tell me where you are, Lou.”

“I don’t know…”

“Are you drunk?” He put the phone to the other side of his head and tried awkwardly to get into his hoodie without having to end the call.

“No, I… I… Just pick me up. I don’t want to be here.”

“Okay. Are you in a bar or something?”

“Outside… I’m on a street, I don’t…”

“Easy” Liam soothed as he heard a muffled sound from Louis side, some noise which was suspiciously close to crying. “I’m on my way. Look around. There have to be street signs somewhere.”

“No. I… I’ll just wait here and you… you get me away.”

“Okay, listen” Liam said urgently. “I’m on my way. I just need to know where you are. Find a sign, and I’ll be there as soon as possible.”

Louis didn’t answer at first, leaving Liam concerned and helpless, because how was he supposed to do something without having a clue where to go? Nonetheless he already grabbed his keys and left the flat, still waiting for Louis to answer.

“Here’s a crossroad” the older boy announced. “It’s Baker Street and Lancaster Lane.”

“Great. Listen, just stay where you are, okay? I’m getting into my car right now.”

“Can you… can you stay on the phone? You… you don’t have to talk to me, but… I just… I don’t want to be alone.”

“Sure. Wait a second, I put you on speaker.” After he’d done this Liam put the address Louis gave him into his navigation system and started the engine. “Can you hear me? I’m still there.”

“Thank you.” And with that, Louis fell silent.

Liam tried to keep up the conversation, chatting about unimportant things, but the lack of reaction didn’t make this an easy task at all, and after a while he ran out of things to talk about, so he just sang and hummed under his breath.

Thank god the streets were almost empty, so it took only round about twenty minutes for him to get to the crossroad Louis had mentioned.

“I’m here” he said, grabbed his phone and left the car. “Where are you?”

“Liam?”

Liam turned around as he heard a voice from behind. “Oh shit” he cursed before he could stop himself and almost dropped the phone. “Lou, what happened?”

Even in the faint light of the streetlamp he could tell that Louis was almost ghostly pale. He also head bruises around his eyes and cheekbones and dry blood on his lip.

“God…” Liam opened his arms and embraced Louis, who hasn’t spoken a single word yet, carefully. The older boy was shaking like a leaf.

“Can we leave?”, he asked quietly. “I… please?”

“Sure. Come on, I’ll take you to the hospital~”

“No!” Louis protested almost desperately. “No, no! I don’t want to… I… I just really wanna go home, Li.”

“Okay.” How could he have denied Louis anything right now? So he just walked the still trembling boy to the passengers door and helped him into the car before he got in himself. “But you’re coming with me. You can sleep at my place… I won’t leave you alone tonight.”

Louis took a shaky breath. “Thanks”, he mumbled and lent his head against the cold glass of the window.

They drove back in silence. When they eventually reached the flat, Liam dragged his friend into the living room and made him sit on the couch. He went to the kitchen to prepare two cups of tea – and to have a moment to think about what he was supposed to do.

He had to get Louis to talk, that was for sure. Until now the boy had refused to tell anything. Should he call the other lads? They all were so close, maybe it would make Louis feel safe and comfortable – or it would seem like Liam broke his trust, after all he had called **him** , not Harry, Niall or Zayn.

No, he couldn’t do that. He had to solve the problem by himself. He would find a way.

Liam grabbed the two cups with the hot liquid and returned to the living room. “Here, drink”, he pleaded while he handed one cup over to Louis. “It’ll make you feel better if you get something warm into your stomach. You were outside all the time, you must be freezing.”

“I’m okay.”

Liam bit his underlip and sat next to his close friend. “I don’t know… Maybe we should take care of your wounds first, it looks like it must hurt as hell. I surely have some medicine in the bathroom.”

“No. It’s okay.”

“Then… maybe we should just drink our tea and talk a bit, and~”

“I said I’m okay.”

“But you’re not!” Liam replied. “I know you, and you are **not** okay. You do not look okay. So please… let me help you. I’m worried, Lou.”

The pale boy looked up as he noticed the concern in Liam’s voice. “Don’t make me. You got me out of that. I’m fine.” His voice was trembling, so Liam scooted closer and hugged Louis carefully, not wanting to do any more harm to the bruised body.

“You’re safe. I’ve got you”, he whispered into Louis hair. “I won’t let anybody hurt you again.”

That was it what finally made Louis’ walls crumbling down. “They… they hated me, Li” he mumbled brokenly and broke down crying, burying his face in the fabric of Liam’s hoodie. “They c-called me a fairy, and… a stupid f-fag! And one said that though I just love d-dicks, his gir-girlfried loved me more than she… she loved him. And that it was m-my fault that they broke up… but… I didn’t even know him or his girl. H-How can it be m-my fault?”

“It isn’t your fault” Liam reassured and rubbed little circles over Louis’ back. “You know that. It can’t be your fault.”

“They… I… they didn’t even stop when… when I was on the floor” Louis sobbed. “They kicked me, and hit me, and they were so loud… why did nobody help? I th-thought they were killing me. One of them had a knife, and… and…”

“Shh…” Liam soothed, though he was horrified himself. Something like that wasn’t supposed to happen, especially not to a friend. No, to nobody. The heart-wrenching sobs made him wanna cry himself, but now was neither the right time nor the right place. He had to be strong for Louis. “I promise that nobody is gonna harm you, not as long as I’m around.”

He continued to whisper comforting nonsense while Louis cried against his chest. It took an eternity for him to calm down a little. Liam hated that he couldn’t do more to help his friend, all he was able to do was hold him close and wait.

“I’m tired” Louis murmured once he had regained a little control over himself and his feelings. “I’m so tired…”

“Then why don’t we get you cleaned up and go to bed?” Liam offered relieved. Maybe that was exactly what they needed. A couple of hours of sleep, and maybe it wouldn’t look as bad when they got up again.

“I’ll head home. You’ve done enough for me.” Louis looked down on his knees while he spoke. The thought of staying in his own flat all by himself terrified him, but he didn’t want to be more of a burden to his friend as he already was. After all, Liam had got up in the middle of the night to pick him up and be his soul-rubbish can afterwards.

“I said I wouldn’t leave you alone. I meant it” Liam answered softly, yet forcefully. “If you insist of leaving, I’m coming with you. But it would be so much easier if we both would just stay here.”

“Okay” Louis breathed, almost inaudible.

Liam smiled a little and got up, before he offered Louis his hand to pull him upwards as well. “Come on. You look as you were about to faint any second. We can continue talking tomorrow.”

Louis hesitated slightly. “Li…”

“Yeah?”

“I… I don’t know how I ever can make it up to you, but I’ll find a way.”

“Shush!” Liam pulled Louis up and shook his head. “It’s okay. You’re one of my best friends, you don’t need to make anything up.”

“But…”

“Bathroom. Bed. Sleep. Talk. That’s the order, okay?”

“Fine.” Louis rested his forehead against Liam’s shoulder for a moment and took a deep breath. “Thanks.”

Liam intertwined their fingers to pull the brunette boy towards the bathroom, sensing that they would never arrive if he waited for Louis to make the first move. Sure, there were still a lot of things unspoken, but right now the two of them were exhausted. It had to wait.

_TBC_


	2. Chapter 2

It took longer than expected to get Louis ready to sleep.

Sure, he had mentioned that one of the guys had had a knife, but he didn’t mention that he actually put it to use, so Liam was more than a little shocked as he discovered that the skin under Louis’ shirt was even more bruised and cut open as his face was. Damn, his whole body was an entire bruise!

Liam tried to be as gentle as possible as he cleaned the cuts, and first he thought that he managed that pretty well. But as he moved on to disinfect the cuts and Louis didn’t do any more than whimper quietly, he noticed that his friend simply was too exhausted to even care what happened to him.

“Ready”, Liam stated finally, a hint of relief in his voice. “You can sleep now.”

“Mh-hm…” Louis was too tired to even build complete sentences, but he let Liam grab his hand and drag him towards the bedroom.

“You take the bed.” Liam helped Louis under the covers and sat on the edge a little awkwardly. “Do you need anything? Water, or something?”

Louis shook his head and closed his eyes.

“Well, okay. Call me if you need me.”

Suddenly Louis’ eyes were wide open again. “Where are you going?”, he asked weakly.

“I’ll crash on the couch tonight. You should try and get some rest now.”

“But…” Louis eyes were suspiciously bright.

“But?”, Liam asked softly.

“I don’t want to be alone.”

If Louis had been in any better state, he would have kicked himself for letting such pathetic phrases escape his mouth, but right now all he knew was that he couldn’t stand the thought of being alone in this dark room, all by himself, with nothing to distract him from the memories.

Liam managed a little smile as he reached out to wipe Louis’ bangs out of his forehead. “I just need to use the bathroom, I’ll be back in a minute, okay?”

He left the room as Louis nodded and closed the door behind him. _What a night!_ He lent his back against the wall and slid downwards, hiding his face behind his hands.

This was one of the few moments when he really had no idea what to do. He knew he was known as ‘Daddy Direction’, as the one who always had a plan. But this situation was different.

How was he supposed to deal with this? They needed to talk to a doctor, to the police, to any adult who could help, but… Was there anyone who could really help?

It needed no more than one look at Louis to know that the damage was already done. Liam had never seen his friend so hurt before, so _broken_. It was really painful to watch.

He stayed there on the ground for another minute, then he sighed and got up. A part of him was hoping to find Louis already deeply asleep, but when he entered his bedroom again, the older boy immediately turned his head into his direction and looked at him with wide eyes.

“Shh, it’s just me”, Liam mumbled. “Move over, will ya?”

Louis nodded eagerly and slit away, so he almost was pressed against the cold wall. Liam climbed under the covers and used his arm to pull Louis a little more to the middle of the bed again. It was more than enough space for both of them.

“G’dnight…”, he said quietly and closed his eyes, his exhaustion finally taking over. He was asleep within minutes.

Louis, on the other hand, had his problems to drift away. Of course, he was tired. Actually he couldn’t remember having been this tired in his live ever before. And yet he couldn’t sleep.

It seemed like every time he closed his eyes, he wasn’t in the comfortable, warm bed anymore. He could feel the cold air around him, the hard stone ground on which he was lying. He tried hard not to flinch every time he thought he felt the sharp knife tracing over his back, the merciless kicks in his stomach, the~

Shit, he had to stop if he wanted to avoid getting into a full on panic attack. He knew that it wasn’t real right now. He knew he was safe. Theoretically.

“Li?”, Louis whispered into the dark. As expected there was no answer, his bandmate was really out of everything. Louis took his chance to snuggle closer to the warm body next to his own, smiling gratefully as Liam unconsciouslyplaced an arm around his waist to pull him even closer.

It felt good to be held like this. Not good enough to fall asleep – something Louis probably would never again be able to, but as long as Liam held him he was absolutely okay with that – but at least good enough to wait for the dawn without freaking out.

It didn’t take too much time, though. They’d spent the most of the night with saving Louis’ sorry ass and making him a little comfortable.

When the oldest boy noticed the first sunbeams he silently got up, fortunately not waking Liam as he does so. He tiptoed out of the room and went straight to the bathroom, to grab another pain killer. Carefully avoiding his reflection in the mirror, Louis swallowed two pills at once before he moved on to the living room.

At first he wanted to switch on the TV, but then again he didn’t want to risk waking Liam up. Instead he started to clean a bit – the two teacups that neither of the boy drank in the night, a crumpled blanket… It wasn’t much, but Louis needed to do anything to pay back a little for what Li had done for him. If it weren’t for the boy, Louis had no idea where he would be right now.

When he was in the kitchen doing the dishes, a very tired Liam appeared in the room, unnoticed by Louis.

“Hey”, he yawned and flinched violently the next moment, as the cup Louis had held in his hands fell to the ground and shattered into a thousand pieces.

“Oh god! I’m sorry! I’m sorry sorry sorry!”, Louis rushed, all color draining away from his face. In his eyes was a hint of raw panic, as if he was afraid Liam would be the next to beat the shit out of him.

“Hey. It’s okay. It’s okay”, Liam reassured, maybe even as startled as Louis was. “Come over here, yeah? The floor is full of shards.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll clean it up, I… I’ll buy you another one, I… Shit, sorry, sorry…”

“Louis.” Liam rubbed his forehead before he walked over to the terrified boy, careful not to step in any shards. “I’m not mad. Just come to me. You know I wouldn’t hurt you, right?”

Concerned he noticed that Louis was breathing very hard and much too fast, if he kept going like this it was just a matter of time until he fainted, but somehow his words finally seemed to reach Louis, who pressed his eyes shut in attempt to calming himself.

“Right. I’m… sorry, Li. I don’t know what’s gotten in me here.”

“I would call it a panic attack”, Liam stated softly.

“No, it wasn’t that dramatic.” Louis shook his head – bad idea, he got really dizzy all of a sudden. He grabbed the kitchen table to steady himself as his legs turned to jelly. “It wasn’t a pa~… a panic… uh…”

Liam was at his side within a heartbeat and put his arms around him, holding him upright.“You should stay in bed, Lou. What are you doing here?” He studied his friend’s bloodshot eyes, his pale face which looked so sad with all the bruises on the usually so soft skin. “Have you slept at all?”

“A little, yeah”, Louis lied without looking at Liam. “Wasn’t my best night though, so I thought I might as well get up and do something.”

“Hm”, Liam made unbelieving. If Louis wanted to convince him that he was okay, he shouldn’t have cleaned up to begin with. Louis always had been the messiest out of the lads, and he never had made an attempt to change that. Not until today.

But well, cleaning up was far better than everything his mind had pictured Louis doing as he woke up just to find the bed empty.

“Let’s get on the couch and watch a movie or something. We can’t have you pass out in the kitchen, hm? And then I’ll text the other lads to come over when they’re awake.”

“God…” Louis sighed deeply as he sank down on the couch. “I don’t.. do you really have to?”

“I’m afraid yeah.” Liam turned on the TV and sat on the couch as well, moving around until Louis could rest his head in the younger boy’s lap.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and sent a message to the other three bandmembers, telling them that it was really important, but not giving away any more details. In an afterthought he sent another one directly afterwards, asking the guys not to ring the doorbell but call him instead when they’d arrived.

He had the tiniest bit of hope that Louis would be asleep in time, so he had a chance to talk to the other guys alone at first.

None of the two friends really noticed what show was on the TV, they just used the moving pictures as point to focus their eyes, while they let their thoughts drift away. Liam caressed Louis’ hair absently, somehow noticing that the boy was working himself up even more.

“That sucks”, he whined suddenly and turned his head slightly, so he could look at Liam pleadingly. “I don’t want anybody to see me like this. Can’t we just buy makeup to cover the scars and not tell anybody?”

“Lou…” Liam traced his fingers across Louis’ cheekbones, ghosting over a dark bruise under the usually so sparkling eyes. All makeup in the world couldn’t cover the hurt expression on Louis’ face, though the boy didn’t seem to have a clue. “You know we can’t keep that from them. They are your friends… brothers… We have to tell them.”

“I don’t want them to know how pathetic I am. It’s bad enough already that you~”

“You’re not pathetic”, Liam interrupted him and shook his head. “Why would you think such a thing?”

Louis fell silent and chewed on his bottom lip before he answered. “I haven’t done anything. As they came for me, I… I haven’t even fought back. I just let them hit me. Again and again. And... again... only let 'em...~”

“But there was nothing you could possibly do”, Liam reminded him softly. “What would you have done? Provoke them even more and have yourself killed?”

Just a moment later he realized what he just said and his eyes grew wide, because  _fuck_ , that would have been possible. And Liam wasn't  able to just imagine this... possibility. What would he have done, if~...

He couldn't only as much as think it once more.“Oh shit, I’m sorry”, he choked out and pulled Louis, who had lost all color in an instant, up into tight hug. “Sorry”, he repeated over and over as his friend clung onto him as it was for his sheer life, as if Liam was the only one who could keep him from falling apart completely.

And maybe, at least for now, this was exactly what he was.

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

“No!”, Harry said, shaking his head violently. “You're shitting us!”

 

“Do you really think I would joke about such thing?” Liam asked irritated. “Have I ever give you a reason to doubt my words? Do you think so low of me?”

 

“Guys... GUYS!” Zayn quickly stepped in between the two boys which were shooting poisoned arrows at each other with their eyes. Ever since they entered Liam's flat and had been shooed into the kitchen instead of the living room, the atmosphere had been tensed. Somehow the three arrivals had sensed that something was up, and by the fact that Louis was missing this meeting it hadn't been too hard to put two and two together and know that it was about him.

 

But when Liam finally told the story about what happened the other night... well, none of them could really comprehend what it meant. Liam couldn't be talking about _their_ Louis. Not about the bubbly little sunshine they all grew to love. It was inconceivable that anyone could want to harm Louis.

 

And yet... someone did.

 

“This isn't the place to fight each other. Nor is it the time!”, Zayn grumbled and shot both boys a stern gaze.

 

“But~”

 

“Stop it. Now!”

 

All three boys turned around as a voice with an irish accent cut in the argument. When even Niall raised his voice, the situation was really fucked. The blond lad usually was one of the most patient boys anyone could ever imagine.

 

“They are right”, Liam admitted and took Harry's hand to squeeze it comfortingly. “I didn't want to yell at you. It's just been a tough night.”

 

“I... I'm sorry too. It's just... can we see him? Or is he asleep?”

 

“I wish he were”, Liam mumbled more to himself than addressing it to anyone. “But yeah, sure. Just... don't scare him anymore, okay?”

 

“We would never do that.”

 

The boys walked through the door and scanned the room with the eyes for their friend, only to find him look at them with something like fear or shame... maybe something in between, neither of them was really able to tell. But alone the fact, that Louis wasn't able to conceal what he was feeling – something he usually had a fucking _master degree_ in - made them stop and stare for a moment in silence. And yeah, real silence. They maybe never had been so quiet before when they all were together. You could have heard a needle drop down on the wooden floor of Liam's living room.

 

They stand there for a while, Liam staying with them but shifting uncomfortably, not knowing who needed his reassurance right now the most. All of them seemed shattered.

 

Niall's eyes were huge blue balls of emotion, while Zayn only swallowed thickly and tried to keep a straight face. Harry was chewing on his underlip, nervously brushing his hair out of his forehead with his fingers.

 

And Louis...

 

Before he could keep up the analysis, Louis let out a tiny whimper, which somehow managed to break the spell.

 

Harry was on Louis' side within a heartbreak, wrapping his arms around the smaller boy's frame. Liam followed him and took the spot next to him, while Zayn and Niall sat down on the other couch.

 

“You shouldn't have come”, Louis whispered and buried his face in Harry's neck.

 

“Shut up”, Harry answered evenly quiet. “You know we would always come when you need us. Just like you would do if it were one of us. I am right, you would come, would you?”

 

Louis needed a moment to let the message sink the message into his brain., whenever Harry got tense he had the habit to start to ramble, and it were just too many _words_ for Louis to process right now. A few seconds later, he hesitantly nodded, getting what Harry meant, but...

 

Louis didn't want to be the one needing the others. He was the oldest, he was supposed to hold on, he was sure that in a way the boys counted on him. Not as much as they did on Liam, who got his 'daddy' nickname out of a reason, but somehow... he wanted to be the one who make them smile, not to make them look at him like _that_. He started sniffling into Harry's shoulder as he heard the sound of someone getting up.

 

“I might as well make some tea, right?”, Niall asked with pressed voice and turned around quickly to escape through the door.

 

“I... I'm going to help him”, Liam decided after carefully observing Harry and Louis, making sure that the older boy was well enough in Harry's arms for him to leave. _Well_ possibly wasn't the right choice of words, but as well as he could be at the moment. He got up as well and followed Niall.

 

Zayn stayed behind, scratching his nose awkwardly. He couldn't help but feeling a little out of place. Louis was with Harry, Niall was with Liam, and he? He was the one left over, the third wheel as people liked to say. _'Get your shit together, Malik. This isn't about you'_ , he scolded himself and sank deeper into the pillows, trying to become invisible.

 

“Come over”, Harry invited him and pointed on the spot where Liam was seated before. Zayn hesitated, but then he nodded and joined his friends on the couch.

 

Louis raised his head and watched the dark-haired boy for a second over Harry's shoulder, then he hid his face again and squeezed his eyes shut. If he tried to, if he tried really hard to, maybe he could pretend that this wasn't happening. Then he felt long slender fingers linking with his own, pressing them together lightly and let out a strangled sob before biting his lip hardly, attempting to shut himself up.

 

“You can let it out, you know?”, Zayn asked with slightly rough voice while Harry simply pulled him closer. “I'm just saying, yeah?”

 

“It's okay”, Louis answered and took a deep breath, collecting himself before he sat up more straight and moved a bit out of the embrace. “I know, but there's nothing to talk about. It happened, and it's over. Can we just turn the TV back on and not talk? Please?”

 

Zayn tried to hide the disappointment in his face as he nodded and reached for the remote. While he turned on a random channel, he felt some shifting next to him and turned his head to find Louis, snuggling into the gap between him and Harry. Maybe he didn't need to talk or whatever, but a little reassurance that they were still here... that they weren't about to leave him alone... Well, it couldn't hurt.

 

 

 

As Liam entered the kitchen, he went straight to the boiler and prepared the water for the tea, giving Niall, who was slumped down on a chair at the table, a moment to adjust himself to the company he now had.

 

“What are you doing?”, the blond lad asked somewhat uncaring.

 

“Giving you an alibi. Would be pretty awkward to return without the tea, right?”

 

“I didn't plan on returning.”

 

Liam frowned and walked over to the younger boy, sitting across the table, facing him. “Of course you did. I know you, Ni.”

 

“Maybe not as well as you like to think.” Niall sighed deeply and ducked his head a little. “Lord, you must think that I'm an awful person. But don't... don't throw me out, okay?”

 

“So you don't want to stay, but you don't want to leave either?”, Liam questioned and tilted his head to catch Niall's gaze again. He wasn't really sure were this conversation was heading, but he wanted to understand what was going on in his friend's head.

 

“I don't want to leave. I need to be here, even if I can't be _there_.”

 

“You can't?”

 

“Just... let it be, okay? I can't... you'll be mad at me. You should be. I'm a bad friend.”

 

Liam snorted. This was Niall _my-heart-is-as-big-as-a-soccer-field_ Horan after all. There was no way he would decide not to come back to do any more harm. This had to have other reasons. “Why can't you be there, mate?”

 

“Shut up”, Niall whispered, his hands curling into fists.

 

Liam decided to let it go for the moment and stood up to prepare the tea for the five boys. He took his time to do so, pouring sugar or milk into the steaming liquids, just as each boy preferred. After such a long time together they all knew exactly how the others liked their tea. Once Liam accidentally had taken the wrong cup from the table, and it took no more than a tiny sip for him to know that this was not only not his one, but Zayn's instead. It would have been the same if it had been Harry's, Niall's or Louis'. He'd just known.

 

“You know, we could head back now”, Liam said when he got the cups ready.

 

“You didn't listen earlier, did you?” Niall sighed and rubbed his forehead. “I'm not coming with you. It's... too scary.”

 

_'Finally'_ , Liam thought and trailed over to the blond guy, rubbing his back lightly. “It is. For all of us.”

 

“I mean... It's Louis. I never saw him so... I can't even explain what I mean, but it scares me.”

 

“I think I know what you mean.” Liam clapped Niall's shoulder. “But you said it yourself. It's Louis. He's one of our best friends.”

 

“I know. That's what makes it so hard”, Niall whispered. “I cant stand to see him this way. He has to be happy, that's like... a law or something.”

 

“Then it's on us to make him happy again, don't you think?”, Liam asked and walked back to the teacups. “”I can't carry all of them. I'll just take mine, as well as Harry's and Zayn's. So...” He smiled slightly and escaped the kitchen, leaving Niall alone with his thoughts and doubts. It was no question to him that the younger guy would follow him sooner or later.

 

And really, did he have a choice?, Niall wondered as he watched Liam leave. The sneaky bastard let Louis' cup behind on bloody purpose, knowing that if it had been one of the other guy's, Niall would have just ignored it and waited for said boy to come and get it himself. But he couldn't just do it with Louis, right? Right.

 

Niall sighed deeply, got up and took the two remaining cups over to the living room.

 

Nobody was talking, the TV was on and if it wasn't for the unusual tension in the room, Niall could have sworn it was a typical, lazy day off. He placed one of the cups on the table and tried to escape to the other couch, where nobody but Liam sat at the moment, as Louis softly called his name.

 

“Niall.”

 

“Yeah?”, he asked without thinking twice. Now he found the courage to look at Louis at well, suppressing a sigh as he watched the usually so sparkly blue eyes that now just looked sad – he didn't find any better word to describe it.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Niall returned Louis' smile hesitantly. Louis obviously didn't only thank him for the cup of tea. Somehow he seemed to had known that the decision to come back hadn't been easy on him. It shouldn't surprise him that much. Louis always seemed to know what was going on around him. He was almost as bad as Liam when it came to that.

 

“I don't know what to say. I'm sorry!”, the blond boy rushed out and ducked his head. “I really am sorry that you're going through this now, and...” His voice died and he blushed deeply as he felt every single pair of eyes in this room ghosting over his features with worry. He wasn't about to freak out, he only was helpless, and he didn't like this feeling at all.

 

“Thank you”, Louis repeated. He didn't say anything more, because what was there left to say? It's okay? All of them could see that it wasn't. All of them knew. It was exhausting.

 

They all fell silent again, Niall taking the spot next to Liam on the couch, whispering quietly into his ear. Louis didn't understand a word, and he didn't care at all to be honest. If they were talking about him, about something that happened outside or just about how they had to buy some milk for the breakfast tomorrow... it didn't matter. At all.

 

“I'm kinda tired. Mind if I crash onto your bed for a little?”, Louis asked, head tilting slightly towards Liam.

 

“Of course not. Come, I'll quickly take you there and~”

 

“I'm not a baby, for god's sake. I think I'll find it on my own”, the pale boy snapped and stormed out of the room.

 

“Lou!” Liam flinched when the door closed with a loud bang. “Well, I guess...”

 

“It isn't easy. Leave him alone for a bit”, Harry suggested.

 

“Yeah. And in the meantime... we have to figure something out. Anything. Like... we need a few more days off, at least Louis does. And...”

 

“I'll call Paul”, Zayn said and reached for his phone. “You know we can't decide anything on our own. He'll be mad enough that no-one told him what's going on until now.”

 

“I don't know. May be hard to explain over the phone”, Harry thought and shrugged. “We should go and talk to him in person. I mean, Louis is sleeping, there's nothing we can do here right now.”

 

“Harry's right.” Niall looked at Liam, suddenly noticing that the boy was looking deadly exhausted as well. “You'll stay behind, in case something happens. Call us when you need to, okay? Whatever it is.” He gently hugged the older boy, then got up and pointed at Zayn and Harry. “You, and you. My car. Now.”

 

“Demanding a little, aren't we?”, Zayn teased, but got up nonetheless. “Okay, let's go. Leave your phone on, Li. We'll call you when we got news.”

 

“Thanks, guys.” He didn't even bother to lead them to the door, tiredness taking it's all on him. A part of him wanted to make sure Louis was okay, but he had to admit that Harry was right. Louis would ask for help if he really needed to. He would hate it, that wasn't the question, but he would do it.

 

So since there was literally nothing he could do now, he might as well try and get some sleep himself. Or at least close his eyes. Or _at least_ lie down and try to think about anything else.

 

Or at least stay where he was and keep breathing. That sounded like a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I'm not driving the storyline forwards fast enough. On the other hand I'm scared of rushing it too much.  
> So if anyone has the feeling it's too slow, to blurry, to fast or I don't know... please let me know.
> 
> Thanks to everybody who left kudos, comments or a bookmark here... I seriously love you guys. And it makes me incredibly happy, so... yeah. Thanks so much!


	4. Chapter 4

_Louis took a deep breath as he stepped out of the bar. It was chilly out here, and he couldn’t help but shiver a little bit, but the air was so much better then it had been inside the bar._

_He shouldn’t have let himself get drunk today, he knew it. It would have been the better plan to call one of his bandmates and settle down for a movie marathon or something comparable. But fact was, they just had a few days off now, and even if nobody was going to visit their families – maybe the first time that all of them stayed in town, if he thought about it. He’d suspected at least Niall to go to Ireland during the break, the bubbly guy seemed to suffer a bit from homesickness when Louis’ talked to him during the past days and weeks._

“ _You’re this boyband guy, aren’t you?”, a deep voice cut into his trail of thoughts. Louis already nodded absently, if he had to pose for fan photos now he wanted to get it off his list quickly, as the man who’d asked the question specified: “The boyband **gay** , hu?”_

_Alarmed Louis took a step back, having not realized until now that the young man had a whole bunch of friends with him. Well, that was exaggerated, they were four guys in total, but they all seemed pretty muscular and strong to him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about”, he answered carefully._

_They’d never made any official statements about their sexualities, even if many people had their own theories. Any maybe a few of them might be right, like… this one. Yeah, he was gay as a fucking rainbow, but that wasn’t anybodies business. Especially not of those bulky, narrow minded idiots in front of him._

“ _Oh, I bet you do. Lou-eee, isn’t it? Tina talked about you all the time. Bitch.”_

“ _I should go.”_

“ _Oh, not up for a nice little chat with a few fans?” The man shook his head in mocking disappointment. “You’re not going anywhere, Lou-eee. At least not without us.”_

“ _Look”, Louis tried and somehow managed to stay calm even if his heart was beating like crazy against his chest, because fuck! This was too close to not being funny anymore. “I really don’t have time. I have to get up early tomorrow~”_

“ _So maybe we should help you lying down before, right?”_

_Before Louis could comprehend what that was supposed to mean he felt a fist connect with his face and cried out in agony, before another punch landed in his stomach and sent him to the ground._

“ _Oh Lou-eee with the oh so blue eyes, I have to say the black eye is so much better for you. Though it disturbs the whole picture. Can’t leave you with one dark spot in the face, hu fairy boy?”_

“ _Please”, was all Louis managed as someone grabbed him from behind and pulled him onto his feet again._

“ _I know we all are fit guys, but no need to drop on your knees right now. Maybe you should invite us on a coffee first, fag”, another voice growled._

“ _Tina always found you so beautiful”, the first guy mused before he hit him again, Louis jaw making a cracking noise and he whimpered. “Guess she wanted to fuck you all alone. But you were busy fucking your mates behind the stage, right? Such a shame. I really don’t know why she left me, then. She knew she wouldn’t get you.”_

“ _Maybe she thought he’ll get straight for her”, a voice Louis hadn’t heard until now interfered. “You’ll better off without that fag hag.”_

“ _True”, the man decided and raised his fist again, just to chuckle as a pathetic cry escaped Louis’ mouth._

“ _God, Tyler. Can you please shut him up? I would do it myself, but where’s the fun in knocking him out right now?”_

“ _Sure can.”_

_The guy who still held Louis – Tyler, as it appeared, he maybe should store this name in his brain – shifted slightly, then his hand crept under Louis’ shirt. Annoying as this was, Louis couldn’t help but freeze as something very cold – it was a blade, a fucking sharp blade for Christ’s sake! - met his bare skin. “Shut up, or I’ll cut your skin off”, Tyler threatened and moved the knife a little to make his point._

_Louis groaned miserably as he felt a sharp pain on his stomach, then something sticky and warm running down his body. “Let me go”, he pleaded with hoarse voice. “Please, I don’t… I…”_

“ _Nah, don’t think so.” And with that, it really started. One moment to another Louis found himself on his knees, then flat on the ground, receiving kicks and hits and – he couldn’t even focus on the pain anymore, just everything hurt._

“ _He won’t stop crying”, one of the men cursed. “Someone will hear him and we’ll be fucked!”_

“ _Maybe he needs a dick in his mouth, that’ll shut him up, I think.”_

“ _Kyle. Don’t think you should go there.”_

_A strange relief washed through Louis’ body, at least this wasn’t going to happen. But it was far from over, again he felt a foot kicking his back and cried out loudly, what was answered with the knife cutting through his skin again and his heart skipped a long beat._

_Maybe that was it, Louis noted with sudden clarity. When this would go on for much longer, maybe his heart would stop at all. The beat it skipped then would be the last one, and as terrifying this thought was, it would at least mean that it would be over, that he won’t have to feel anymore. Kinda tempting._

_A kick in the stomach had him retching, and yeah, maybe he should give in and just sink into the darkness and~_

“Louis! Louis, come on, wake up.”

There were hands on his shoulders, shaking him slightly. Why would somebody do that? He wanted the darkness, wanted it to be over.

“Louis, love. Look at me.”

Louis bolted upwards, hand violently flying through the air, so Liam grabbed them before he could hurt either one of them.

“Hey. You’re awake now?”

“Let me… just let me go…” Louis still wasn’t fully awake by now, but he needed to get his hands free, he really needed to if he didn’t want to go into full on panic mode. “Please, please let me…”

“Right, sorry.” Liam took his own hands away and watched Louis sliding into the corner of the bed. He pulled his nightstand drawer open and took out a box of tissues, offering one to Louis, who didn’t even do as much as look at him.

Liam crawled onto the bed hesitantly, taking a tissue to wipe the tears from Louis’ face.

“Li?”, the smaller boy asked with trembling voice, slowly sinking into reality.

“Yeah, it’s me”, he stated gently. “I heard you crying and come to check on you, but you were asleep. So if figured it was a bad dream?”

“Kinda”, Louis whispered and used the sleeves of his shirt to completely dry his face, though he felt like he could burst into tears any moment again, so it might be pointless anyway.

“You wanna talk about it?”

Louis shrugged and stared into the half darkness, the only light in this room came through the open door. He vaguely remembered that it had still been day as he’d gone to bed, so maybe he’d gotten a few hours of sleep. That surely could be counted as a success. “Maybe. Can you just… sit with me? Just for a moment?”

“Sure.” Within seconds Liam sat right next to him and put an arm around his shoulders, encouraging Louis to rest his head on the younger boy’s shoulder.

It could have been a really peaceful moment if Louis hadn’t still to fight to shrug off that anxiety the nightmare – if that’s the right word for it, it was just a memory after all – has set on him. Luckily Liam didn’t try to get something out of him, the boy was just awesome when it comes to deciding whether he should inquire or just leave it be.

It was Louis who broke the silence after a few minutes. “Do you remember when you were little and everyone kept telling you that monster’s weren’t real?”

Liam flinched slightly, Louis’ voice caught him off guard. “Yeah. I do.”

“They lied.”, Louis stated, his voice not more than a miserable whisper.

“Oh… kitten.” Liam was on an absolute loss of words for once. “You dreamed about the guys who assaulted you, didn’t you?”

“I thought they would never stop. I thought I would die.” Louis paused and tilted his head up, staring against the wall without seeing anything. “Somehow I wish I’d have…”

“Lou…” Liam felt his whole body go cold. He grabbed Louis’ chin and turned his head gently towards him. “Don’t say that. Please.”

“But it’s the truth.” Louis sounded tired. He blinked a few times, but held Liam’s gaze. “I passed out after a while. Thank god I did. When…” Fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. “When I woke up it was cold, so freaking cold. But at least they were gone. I don’t know if they thought that they’d killed me. Maybe they thought so and were proud, or… they just didn’t care, cause it didn’t matter~”

Liam thought he could literally feel his heart breaking into pieces, mildly wondering why there wasn’t a shattering sound. “Don’t ever think that, will you?”, he asked, his voice deadly serious. “Don’t ever think you don’t matter. Not for a second.”

“It’s not exactly easy when a bunch of guys left you on the street like you’re a piece of garbage.”

He had a point, Liam had to admit as he shifted closer to the boy. Now he could feel Louis whole body trembling slightly, the only indication that he still was crying. Of course, there were tears trailing down his face, but other than that, Louis was completely quiet. It was more terrifying than a wild outburst of emotion would have been.

Liam swallowed thickly. There was one thing he didn’t dared to ask Louis until now, he was too scared that the answer would be positive. He hadn’t a clue how far it had gone. Sure, Louis had admitted the punching and the blade, but… would he have told him if it had been a lot… worse? Like, with all the stuff about calling him fairy and taking revenge because of the ex-girlfriend… You never knew.

He cupped Louis’ face with his hands carefully, hoping not to scare the boy. “Did one of them hurt you?”, he asked softly though the words felt like acid in his throat.

Louis lowered his gaze. The question should sound really stupid, because yeah, all of them had. His lovely appearance should be proof enough. But he knew what Liam meant, so he quickly shook his head and could feel the boy next to him relax a little.

“It wasn’t that bad”, he explained quietly and felt a wave of relief washing over him, because how had he been supposed to deal with that? “I heard them talking about it, though. One of the last things before I blacked out. One of them said something about that a dick in my mouth would make me shut up, and another one told him not to… that’s all I know. And since I was unconscious not long after I figure that there was no need to shut me up anymore.”

Liam frowned, not buying the easy, slightly sarcastic tone Louis’ voice had gotten by now. “I really should have taken you to the hospital. It was irresponsible not to.”

“You didn’t know what had happened, did you? It’s okay.”

“You keep saying that. Maybe you hadn’t told me, but I wasn’t blind, you know?” Liam sighed and used his hand to push Louis’ bangs away, so he could look at him properly. “You think you can sleep a little more? Or do you fancy something to eat? You must be starving by now.”

“I’m fine, I just…” Louis rubbed his nose and avoided Liam’s gaze. “It’s weird, I know, but… do you mind sharing the bed once more? It’s okay if you don’t want to, it just feels so much saver with you here.”

Liam didn’t even bother to reply, just letting his body slide downwards, somehow managing to pull Louis with him. He really should go and at least turn the light in the hallway off, but on the other side maybe he shouldn’t, because he would have missed Louis’ shy smile as he pulled him closer if it had been dark in here.

“You sure, Li?”

“Hey, I got a living hot-water bottle out of this, so it’s a pretty good deal for me.”

Louis chuckled silently and curled up more tightly against Liam, who in response wrapped his arms around the small frame of his friend.

Liam didn’t know when they fell asleep or who had been the first to, but when he opened his eyes again there was sunshine coming through the window – well, or maybe at least light. Sunshine was too much of a praise, but hey, it wasn’t exactly summer anymore.

He tried to lift himself up a bit, but he couldn’t move since Louis still clung onto him, arms and legs wrapped around him to keep him in place. He was still out of it, tiny snores escaping every now and then. Well, he really needed sleep. Even asleep he looked tired, a light frown on his face and violet shadows under his eyes.

Liam smiled softly and closed his eyes again, trying to drift off himself once more, but he was beginning to feel restless. He carefully untangled himself from Louis limbs, somehow managing not to wake him up during the process.

He could use the time to catch up with Zayn, Harry and Niall. Letting them know that everything was okay, and finding out what the plans were now. He hadn’t spoken to them since they left for their meeting with Paul, and it was burning under his nails to hear what was going on. But first he would take a long, hot shower. That most likely would also help to ease his tensed muscles.

As silent as possible he opened his closet to take fresh clothes, mentally making a note that maybe they should drive by Louis’ place and get a few things for him as well, even if he didn’t mind to let him use his clothes.

After throwing a last look at the sleeping boy, who by now was hugging the pillow, pressing his face firmly into the fabric, Liam left the room, finally turning off the lights in the corridor.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that I didn't update for so long, but I had too much crap going on. I hope some of you still are interested :) xx

_Pliff._

Louis eyes followed one of the bubbles in his sparkling water all the way up from the bottom of the glass to the top, where it burst as soon as it reached the surface. _Pliff._

Dumb little bubbles. One by one they started the trip they'd never return from. Didn't they notice no one of their friends ever came back from up there? Were they too curious to see what would happen?

Well. He knew that they were nothing but carbon dioxide and it was completely natural for them to go up and burst, but still. It was a better thing to muse about than listening to all the crap the others talked about right now.

He snatched his attention away from the glass and looked up, taking in the other persons around the table.

There were his boys, of course. They were great friends, as the last few days had proven. They didn't leave him alone, no matter how moody he was. And he could be really bitchy, he noticed himself. Sometimes he snapped at them, well knowing that they only were trying to help him. It only was... the knowledge didn't make it any easier. The fact that they all said that they wanted to be there for him didn't change the fact that Louis wanted to be the strong one, just as he always had been. He didn't recognize himself anymore, which really, really sucked.

Then there were Christian and Sabine, who came to talk for their management. Louis didn't like them. At all. Without a reason for, he just decided to be annoyed by their simple presence the moment they walked through the door.

Paul also was with them. Maybe the only adult Louis trusted right now. Of course, he could have called his mom, but she had enough to do with his little siblings, so he didn't really want to stress her anymore. He was okay, after all. No need to put the worry on her.

Next to Paul, there was a guy with a strange, sandy hair color and pale skin which made him kinda invisible, as if one could look straight through him. He was one of the main responsible people for their tour. Louis didn't know his name. But that was okay, he also didn't care.

They were talking. It seemed to Louis that they hadn't stopped talking for days, murmurs, worried whispers and good advices following him around wherever he went. He tried to concentrate a little more, to catch at least a few sentences. But it was hard, harder than it should be, even considering that they all talked the same time.

“~can't be serious. You've seen that~”

“~think about the fans. We can't just cancel the dates~”

“~but don't we have a right do decide ourselves?”

“~already payed. It would be a mess~”

“You said you would listen to the doctor, at least. And he made clear that Lou isn't in the state~”

_The doctor._ Louis bit back a sigh and lowered his gaze again as a headache began to form behind his forehead.

The sparkling bubbles still were on their one-way mission. Not as many as a few minutes ago, though. Maybe their sense for adventure died down. Maybe there were a few that wanted to stay where they were, that didn't want their lives to change.

Though luck, Louis decided. He didn't want that to happen either, and now look at him. Nobody had a say in that. He tapped the glass with his fingertips.

_Pliff pliff pliff._

Louis hadn't fully decided if _pliff_ was the right word for the little noise the bubbles made when they finally shattered. _Plopp_ wasn't right either, and _blubb_ sounded far too muddy. Was there a word for it, at all? If not he had to invent one. At least it kept his brain occupied. If he stopped thinking about such nonsense for a second, his mind would trail off and he'd found himself in the doctor's practice again.

The long, boring checkups he'd had to endure. The numb pain he'd been in all the time while the older man touched his bruises, wrapped bandages around his limbs and asked questions, always the same questions that Louis didn't want to answer but everyone asked over and over again.

The doctor. The police. Management. Even his friends.

Nobody understood that Louis only wanted to forget. The night was over, what happened happened. There was no way to change it, so why did they all made such an effort?

Why didn't they shut up?

Louis pressed his fingers to his temples and massaged the skin lightly as his headache turned worse. He wanted peace. He wanted quiet.

But still everyone was talking.

The voices. The words that didn't made any sense. The constant mumbling.

Those damn bubbles. _Pliff._

His name, over and over again.

Harsh voices. Soft voices.

_Pliff._

It didn't stop.

“Shut up”, Louis whispered desperately.

Nobody heard. They all were so busy fighting about him, about what had to be done. About what was _best_ for him.

He couldn't bear it anymore.

“Shut up”, he repeated a bit louder and looked up.

“~but shouldn't it be your job to worry about him instead of the girls who bought the tickets? Is money everything that counts now?”

“We're no machines, we are human, and when we need a break~”

“~the contract says~”

“ _SHUT UP!_ ”, Louis yelled and swept his glass from the table with one fast movement of his hand. He leaped out of his seat when it shattered in thousand pieces as soon as it met with the hard wooden floor.

Breathing very hard, his eyes trailed over the mess he'd caused. He would be sorry for the bubbles, but they'd had their chance to stop. Now their world was broken – just like his own.

He was vaguely aware that everyone in the room was looking at him. Puzzled, worried, maybe a bit annoyed or scared... he didn't care. They finally noticed him again.

“Stop talking about me”, he hissed and finally found the courage to lift his gaze again. “I'm not dead. You can speak _with_ me.”

“Louis~”

“You're so busy figuring out what to do, and you all think you know what's right. But why~”

His hand flew up to his chest, pulled the loose hoodie away from his body as breathing became harder and harder with every passing second.

“Nobody asks what I want. I'm not dead. Talk to me. I'm still here. I...”

His voice broke. The faces that were turned towards him became weirdly unclear, contours washing away.

One of them got up, came closer towards him. He couldn't tell who it was. Who wanted to touch him. Nobody was allowed to. Didn't they listen? That wasn't what he wanted.

He recoiled when the phantomic face almost reached him, stepped back until he felt something hard and solid against his back.

The last thing he was aware of was a pair of hands grabbing his shoulders, then the world tilted in a very, very strange way and faded into a blissful, quiet darkness.

***

“Louis!” Harry struggled to keep his friend from falling to the ground when his eyes suddenly rolled back and his knees gave up. “Fuck, Lou. Come on! Open your eyes.”

Luckily Paul was on his side only seconds later and lifted the unconscious boy up.

“He needs to rest. It was too much”, he said quietly, soothing the worried boys who all lost every bit of color in their faces.

The bodyguard placed Louis' limb body onto a couch in the neighbor room and brushed the hair away from his forehead. “Maybe he should stay in hospital for a few days”, he considered. “He really needs a time out.”

“No.” Zayn, who'd followed Paul into the room, shook his head. The other boys stood in the door frame, but they all nodded when Zayn protested instantly.

“You've heard him”, Harry added. “We shouldn't decide that for him. Ask him when he's awake.”

“Sorry, but I don't see any alternatives.”

“He can stay at my place. He did the last days and it was okay, so why should we change it now?” Liam took a breath and stepped into the room as well, moving forward until he could reach Louis' face with the back of his hand. His cheeks were cold. The bruises on his skin had turned from the violent mixture of blue and red that they'd been when he found Louis into a sickly yellow color.

“Because you need a break as well”, Paul decided. “It won't help anybody when you collapse.”

“That's not important~”

“That's why we are here”, Niall offered. “We look out for each other. Please, Paul. Don't make him leave if he doesn't want to.”

Paul pressed his lips together and observed the four boys closely. They all looked tired and exhausted, but still absolutely determined. “Okay”, he gave in eventually. “We'll wait and see.”

“At least it's proven now that we can't continue the tour right now”, Zayn stated and turned to look at Sabine, Christian and Leonard, the event manager. “Do you really want him to break down on stage? What would the fans think when that happens? Hu?”

“I'm afraid he's right”, Sabine said with low voice. “The risk is to high, and we don't want him to get any permanent damage. We'll figure something out.”

They returned to the bigger room to sort everything out, the boys taking turns in staying at Louis side, holding his hand and waiting for him to wake up again.

After three days of seedless discussions, it was almost a wonder how quickly they worked a plan out now.

Of course they didn't want the truth to come out, so they developed a story about Louis getting too sick to continue the tour. The remaining boys had to give a press conference to tell the public that they had to take a time out, but would come back later and make up for every concert that had to be canceled now.

A little while later, they decided that it would draw to much attention towards Louis, so one of them should fake to be ill as well.

After a heated discussion they decided that Zayn should be said boy. Harry volunteered, but was turned down by management in an instant. That they were still worried about possible Larry Stylinson rumors was ridiculous, but they were intransigent. Harry and Louis... that wasn't allowed.

Neither was it for Liam to stay behind. Liam, as the second eldest, had to do the major part of the talking during the conference, so they were informed. Some kind of unwritten rule of the show business or some crap.

Eventually they chose Zayn to be the one.

With two boys out of five who weren't able to perform, nobody should wonder why they canceled the dates. And just as they reached this point, Niall's head poked through the door and informed them that Louis was awake and wanted to go home now.

Home, not hospital.

Paul sighed deeply but nodded his okay, making Liam promise that he would call him as soon as he noticed that it became too much to handle.

***

Only one day later the events took place.

Zayn stayed at Liam's home, having the order to keep Louis away from the TV, so he won't watch the press conference and get upset that his friends had to lie to the world.

Not that it was the first time. Okay, they didn't technically lie in interviews, it was more a kind of a... scripted truth the were told to hold onto.

It was quiet in the living room without the usual background noise of the telly, so Zayn put on a playlist of The Fray, which he knew Louis liked.

Then he grabbed a book and tried to read a while, not wanting to disturb his friend, that sat on the couch and stared against the wall tiredly.

He finished not more than four to five pages, when Louis spoke up.

“And when today is over?”, he asked out of the blue, making Zayn look up in surprise.

“What do you mean?”

Louis shrugged. “When they told them that we take a break. What are we supposed to do then?”

“Disappear for a while, I guess.” Zayn closed the book and placed it on the table before he walked over to join Louis on the sofa. “We can't stay here, it's only a matter of time before paparazzis are everywhere. You could spend some time with your family, if you want to.”

“Not really.” Louis rubbed his face and hissed quietly when he touched one of the still sensitive bruises. “I've had Paul call Mum to tell her the same story everyone gets to hear now. And that she doesn't has to worry. Now imagine me walking through the door as I am right now, she'll get a heart attack.”

“Maybe we can hide somewhere, just the five of us. On a little island, or somewhere in the mountains.”

“Sounds almost romantic if you phrase it that way.” Louis smiled weakly.

“But it could be great. Almost be like going on vacations. It could be fun.” He noticed Louis' doubtful expression, so he just bumped his shoulder against Louis' gently. “Let's talk about it when the others are back, alright?”

“Yeah...”

“Great. We'll figure something out, you'll see. Hey, are you hungry? We can raid Liam's fridge until there's nothing left but a clump of butter.”

“A little... maybe.”

“I'm not the best at cooking, but I'll see what I can do, okay?”, Zayn offered with a smile.

“Thanks.”

As soon as the dark haired boy left the room, Louis grabbed his phone from the table and opened Twitter – something he had been told not to.

As expected, he already had a ton of messages of people demanding to know how he was and telling him to get well soon, which was kinda nice. But that wasn't the kind of tweet he was looking for right now, so he scrolled past them until he found people talking about the press conference.

_> They all don't look too healthy, I think it's good for them to take a break #1Dpresscon<_

Louis frowned and clicked on the hashtag.

_> Almost cried during the #1Dpresscon. They look lost without Zayn and Lou #getwellsoon<_

_> i bet li is the next one to get sick. he looks terrifying #1Dpresscon<_

Louis swallowed thickly. It was his fault that the others were so damaged right now. They always told him not to worry about them, but even the fans noticed, so maybe he'd been right all the time.

_> i miss @Louis_Tomlinson and @zaynmalik #1Dpresscon is the most depressing thing ever<_

_> so... do we get our money back now @onedirection? #1Dpresscon<_

“Lou, there's literally nothing in the fridge, do you mind takeaway or~”

Louis flinched and looked up, right into the dark, warm eyes that belonged to Zayn.

“I... just had to check something real quick.”

“I see. Are you okay?”

“Are you? Are the others? Am I too... much at the moment?”

“What? No, Lou. Never. Are we worried? Sure, because it's you and we want you to be happy. But don't ever think that you are a burden to us.”

“But I am”, Louis insisted and showed Zayn his phone. “Look. Everyone noticed.”

“You know how dramatic our fans can be. Don't let yourself grow gray hair about it. We honestly are okay.”

“Hmpf...” Louis obviously didn't believe him that much. “I'm tired. I'll lay down for a while. Could you wake me up when the rest of the lot is back?”

“Sure. You want me to join you?”

“No. I want to be alone for a while, okay? You can... read or whatever. Relax a bit, you're not looking better than I am.”

“I am offended. Even on my worst day I'll still look better than you.” Zayn chuckled and pressed a quick kiss on Louis' cheek. “Off you go, then. We'll talk later.”

“I love you.”

“Love you too. Now go and get some sleep, I could fit my whole hand into the bags under your eyes.”

“Charming as always.” Louis got up and hugged Zayn hesitantly. “Thanks for everything. I know... I'm not the greatest company right now, but I'm so grateful for everything you and the others do.”

Louis stepped back and smiled a bit. “And don't you dare to answer now, or I'll start crying. And we both don't want that. So... yeah.”

He quickly left the room and went into Liam's sleeping room. This was something like his safe place at the moment. As long as he stayed here, it was almost possible to believe that everything could be good again.


End file.
